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An ordinary woman

I'm an ordinary woman. Earthy. Realist, but also optimistic. Many describe me as calm and social. But really, I'm introverted. Can you be both social and introverted? Most people who think they know what "introvert" and "extrovert" mean would probably answer NO to that question. I say the opposite - I myself am a living example. Outwardly, I find it easy to talk to people I do not know, get in touch, bubble about nothing. I spread joy, calm and positive vibes and everyone gets a big part of my wonderful energy. And that's exactly it: I give of my own energy to others. It's great to see, feel and hear how people light up and it gives me the satisfaction to continue on the same path. I have reached the age that I do not care as much about what should happen if I make a mistake or say wrong… because not much happens. Then we have my introverted part in my personality. I have a great need to pause. Constant contact with other people drains me of energy. Then I have learned to actually say no nowadays and not say yes to everything and everyone. Inside, I'm still the shy, straight-legged girl who never held out her hand and talked in elementary school. I did not feel shy or directly insecure, but it has always bothered me to speak in front of a group where I am one of the group. Where I can be judged without being completely sure of what I have to say. Maybe there is a certain prestige anxiety in it, I could believe. It makes a difference to stand in front of a spectator or an audience. I have always been comfortable in that. Of course I have also been nervous, but in a positive way. I would guess that part of it is because everyone else is so uncomfortable. I'm unique and do not want to be like everyone else. As long as I CAN do what I'm talking about, or for that matter sing, I'm not a bit nervous nowadays. Many believe that I am brave enough to stand in front of an audience. Likewise, I am admired by both men and women for my seemingly perfect life. Then I want to say: THANK YOU! Amazing that you think so! But there is nothing that is perfect! I have been through more than most people know and that is exactly what shaped me into who I am today. With a thoughtful father and a more spontaneous mother, I have tried to pick the best of them both. Sometimes I make conscious choices and sometimes not as conscious. Just like anyone. But it is what I make of those choices that matters. I was once asked: "What do you regret in your life?". It became blank. Of course, I have also made bad choices sometimes, I may not always be so proud of what I have done. But! It is again what has shaped me into who I am today. My biggest weakness I would like to say is that I do not hear enough from loved ones. Why that is, I can only speculate. My own reflection is, and then I return to my introverted side, that I need my "space", my own time or whatever you want to call it. I care very much about all my loved ones, but cold talking is really not my thing. Although most would not agree with me on that. Thank you and hello, liver pie!

An ordinary woman